Just Be Normal

JUST BE NORMAL

Wow.  Ok…it seems the world has gone a bit mad.  And with all of the stress, and social distancing (moms I SEE you stuck at home with those babies.  Everyday feels like a bad groundhog day joke.  BLESS YOU) I thought you guys could use a laugh.  It’s pretty well known that I am socially awkward.  The fact that I make a dang living speaking in front of people is not lost on me.  But it seems to do nothing to cure my…awkwardness.  So I have story for you that happened to me this week.  

This week I had to go to Walmart vision center. I needed new contacts and evidently if you “elect” to use your insurance to cover them then you have to come in to sign for them. I did NOT want to go.  Social Distancing and all.  So here is what happened during my outing.

Me “You have to go out. Just be normal. Do not do anything to be awkward or call attention to yourself. “

Also Me: I haven’t been in the optical center 60 seconds when I swear all of the pollen from Baldwin County viscously attacks my throat. I do NOT have allergies mind you. Typically I could lick a tree mid season and nothing. Not even a tickle. BUT OH NO. Not today Karen. Today my throat seizes on me. So I go to simply clear it. Which sets of a coughing fit. That. I. Can. Not. Stop. You know the kind....you hold your breath thinking it will stop it only to make it worse cause then your coughing AND struggling to breathe. At which point I grab some gum thinking it will help. The coughing gets so bad I’m now coughing AND CHOKING on my damn gum. Me. Today. The poor lady that was helping me simply looked at me and gave me “the eye” after the first cough. The second go around that certainly bordered on looking like I needed medical intervention she VISIBLY RECOILED as if I had tased her. Near bout flew half way across the room on her rolling chair. From her 10 foot distance she says to me “ma’am. Do you need assistance? Are you ok” (insert judgey eyes here). I do a quick scan of the room and all four people have STOPPED DOING WHAT THEY ARE DOING and are staring. Standing. Not moving. And  staring. I manage to croak out “no. I’m fine. Just a tickle.” She stares then SLOWLY rolls back to her keyboard and finishes typing in my info....with hands barely touching her keyboard and her butt sticking a good four feet AWAY from the computer....and me. Because that extra distance will surely keep her rear end from catching anything I seem to have. At this point I’m trying not to laugh AND cough for fear of people dropping out of the ceiling in hazmat suits. We finish up, me still slightly coughing into my elbow (which I did away from her the entire time while I maintained a 6 ft distance) and I leave. She all but RUNS from her station to the back carrying a bottle of sanitizer. The MINUTE I hit the front door it stops. Nothing. No coughing. No tickle. Because OF COURSE IT DOES. 

A few things. One....I’m sure I was reported as a “possible case” and poor lady probably called ALL the people and reported a possible exposure. Bless. Two....y’all that have seasonal allergies. Bless you. And do NOT leave your house. Ain’t nobody believin it’s “just a tickle” anymore. Three....I feel so bad for her. Things are so dang scary right now and I’m sure I scared her to death. Bless. Just all of the blessings today for all of the things.

Side note....as I’m leaving the ELDERLY lady that was helping folks check out yells “all that pollen out there gettin to me too. I just shove some Vick’s up my nose every mornin. Works like a charm!” Then she proceeds to open palm wipe straight up her nose.  I. Can. Not. Make. These. Things. Up. 

So as we navigate our new normal, hang in there guys.  Finding things to laugh at every day brings me joy.  Watering my plants, eating dinner with my family, morning and evening walks brings me joy.  Laughing at myself and trying to make light of what seems to be an overwhelming situation brings me joy.  Find the things that bring you joy.  Focus on those.  Extend grace…to yourself, to your family, to others.  Mamas with littles, you get an extra prayer from me.  I seem to be in the “lucky” space which is I have two teens in the house that were already practicing social distancing from the parentals. Bless.  Much love to you and your families as we navigate this time.  We can do this.  We are doing this.  Some of us just a little more awkwardly than others.