What Is On Your Social Media Diet?

I do not know about you guys, but quarantine snacking is a REAL thing.  Adding insult to injury, every time that I log in online, I see all the diet advice.  How NOT to snack during lock down.  What TO eat.  What NOT to eat.  What foods will keep us the healthiest.  What foods to eat to protect us from COVID 19.  The list is long, vast and never ending.  Just. So. Much. Advice.  And with so much attention to our quarantine diet...and my vastly growing waist line...it got me to thinking...what about our social media diet?  What are we consuming there everyday?  If eating right and working out is an incredibly small percentage of our day, and we are spending vast, copious amounts of time online right now...how is that diet effecting us?  And more importantly how is it effecting our kids?

Most of us were told as kids that in order to be healthy, we must eat a certain number of servings from the top 5 food groups daily.  This would ensure a strong, healthy body.  Have you also heard that you become the top 5 people that you surround yourself with?  Which begs the question...what(or who) are the top 5 social media platforms you are serving yourself everyday?  What are your children serving themselves?  This is such an important question.  Now more than ever.  Everyone has increased device time.  It has become our outlet. If we are not working then we are using it to connect with loved ones or as an escape.  And while we can be so incredibly thankful for this outlet...it does not come with a "consume all you want" without risk.  Just as we monitor our diet to make sure we are feeding it healthy foods, monitoring our social media diet will help to ensure a healthy mind and body.  

So how do we monitor the top five people we spend our time with...if it is through social media?  How do we monitor our child?  Most social media is search generated.  Take a few minutes each week and do a random device check on your child's devices.  If they have you tube, look at the search history.  This will tell you where they are spending the most time.  The same for the search history on their computers for online activity.  Tik Tok and Instagram are also mostly search history generated.  Look at what is popping up in their feed.  Especially on Tik Tok.  What videos are coming up for them to watch?  On Insta look at the search area (click on the eye glass).  This will also give you an idea of what your child/teen is searching and watching.  If you are noticing inappropriate content, or content that you do not approve of, this is a time to have an open conversation with your child.  Have a discussion about what they are viewing, how it makes them feel, and do they feel it is benefiting them in anyway?  Not all content has to be informative to be beneficial.  Watching silly videos that make your child belly laugh is incredibly beneficial right now.  If you allow your child Tik Tok, doing a silly video with them right now might be beneficial for you both.  But if we, or our children, allow negative, inappropriate information to filter into our days...for hours on end...this has far reaching consequences.  If the top five platforms that your child is following are negative, do not be surprised when your child has a negative attitude.  Currently there is a massive amount of frightening information online.  It is hard for adults to disseminate what is true and what is false.  Imagine how hard it is for our kids! Helping your child to steer from that and in the direction of positivity will greatly increase their mood, and decrease chances of depression, anxiety and confusion about some of the scary things that are going on in the world today.  We can help them (and ourselves) by searching for positive platforms, things that make you laugh, places that get you excited about travel, activities to get excited about for the future, making plans or setting new goals then finding people online that have the same goals.  

So much feels hard and weird and just not real right now.  Using the outlets we have to bring joy into our lives is such a gift!  We may have to look a bit harder to find the joy, but it is there.  I promise.  Helping your child, yourself, your family to do this...that is the best serving you can give everyone!

WHAT IS BETTER...
UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH
OR COMFORTABLE LIES?

 No one likes the stickiness of uncomfortable truths.  We will lie to ourselves 1000 times over so we continue to feel comfortable.  But does that serve us?  It does.  But not well.  I want to address the elephant in the room...minus all judgement.  And that is what our kids are doing online.   Right now.  In the middle of this pandemic and lockdown.

As parents we are incredibly overwhelmed.  We do not know what the future holds...on so many levels that it hurts.  Our kids are home.  They are in the way.  They are bored.  Restless.  Anxious.  Disconnected.  Scared.  Angry.  They are these things and so much more.  Many of them are also happy for the extended break.  For the "free no school zone" that has been thrust into their lives.  But the reality is they are stuck.  And when having all those emotions connected with being stuck, they are reaching for an outlet.  Just as we are doing as adults.  We become thankful and eternally grateful for devices, apps, social media, games that can give us a feeling of connection.  That can be a welcome distraction for days that feel like an eternal ground hog day.  But what happens when they reach for outlets that will not serve them?  That are inappropriate.  That are harmful.  What do we do?  What can we do?




The uncomfortable truth is that our kids, if they have unrestricted devices, they are seeing things they should not be seeing.  They are possibly posting or saying things they should not be posting and saying.  The comfortable lie we tell ourselves is "not my kid", "my kid is a good kid". " my kid would never..."  And we sit with that comfortable lie because we WANT to believe those things.  Lets be honest, you DO have a good kid.  You have a GREAT kid.  But their "goodness" or "greatness" is not defined by will they or won't they get involved with things they shouldn't online.  Looking at inappropriate content doesn't make them "bad".  It makes them curious.  Which is normal.  It highlights their impulse control issues.  Which is normal.  Because impulse control won't happen til after they are in their 20's.  So we continue to tell ourselves the comfortable lie that our kids "would never" and we leave them to their own devices.  Which, in the end, doesn't protect them.

You show up for so many things.  You feed, clothe and bathe them.  You go to all of the school events and after school activities.  You are the doctor, nurse, lawyer, janitor, inn keeper.  You are ALL of the things.  We must show up in this space as well.  We must not tell ourselves comfortable lies that could harm our children later.  It is ok to feel weird, and sticky and just NOT WANT TO DO IT.  Can we just NOT do this.  Because devices and social media are hard and overwhelming.  And we are already showing up for all of those other things.  So can we just skip this ONE THING?  We can not.  This one thing can define our child's life just as much as those other things.  It can.  And it probably will.  They are not doing ALL of the bad things.  They are doing some amazing, beautiful, inventive, brilliant things with their media.  They have eclipsed us at such a pace that as parents we will never catch up.  But we can check in.  Monitor.  Guide.  Provide impulse control.  All it takes is picking up their device.  Take a look.  Have an open conversation with your child about what you are seeing.  Good and bad.  Let's sit with the uncomfortable truth that they maybe struggling a bit.  And that's ok.  Because we show up for ALL of the things.  We are good at showing up.  That is what we do.  We.  Just. Keep. Showing. Up.  In all the places that they need us.  They need us here.  They will never tell us.  But they need us.  

A Space For Pre-Trauma:

What Can We Do to Heal & Feel In Control

As we navigate the unchartered waters we are experiencing, I think it is important to take look at Pre-Trauma.  We talk so much about PTSD, but never look at, nor do most of us ever experience Pre-Trauma. 

Pre Trauma can be looked at as reading the headlines, watching the news, knowing that there is a crisis, then imagining people being hurt and not surviving...and not being able to do anything to stop it.  It is exacerbated by the feeling of helplessness.

If you are feeling anxious, worried, stressed, helpless, or sad you maybe experiencing pre-trauma symptoms.  We are currently living in a state of we know its coming, we are watching it slowly get here,  but we can do nothing about it.  An example is years ago I was in a car wreck. A lady hit me from behind.  I saw her in my rear view mirror before she hit my car.  I knew he was going to hit me but I was stuck in a car line, and the only thing I could do was sit, frantically watch in my rear view mirror, and brace for impact.  We are currently bracing for impact.  Which is so incredibly hard.  As humans we are fixers and doers.  If we see something bad coming our way, in most cases, we have the skills to stop it or either do something about it.  Currently we can not DO anything.  Except sit still. Social Distance.  And for so many of us that feels like...nothing.  It feels empty.  And powerless.  Sitting still doesn't feel like saving the world.  In our pre-programmed, busy, go, do fix all the things lives...it almost seems like an insult.  Which has created a perfect storm.  We have too much time to watch the train that is coming.   So what so we do?  I have come up with a few things that are helping me to feel powerful, in a less than empowering situation.  Maybe they can help you as well.

GIVE YOURSELF GRACE

Allow sad days.  Allow down days.  Allow frustrated  moments.  It is ok to have these feelings.  It is normal.  Do not try to hide them, or push them away.  This will lead to even more frustration, anger and sadness.  Find someone that you can talk to.  Share your concerns.  Cry.  Scream.  It is ok.  IT IS OK.  You do not have to have it together all the time when the world feels like its swallowing you whole.  

MOVE YOUR BODY

Move your body.  30 minutes a day.  I know I know, you have already heard this.  If you can get out and get fresh air and sunshine, while still social distancing, do so.  I promise this works wonders for the mind and spirit.  Even 10-15 minutes throughout the day is helpful. Walk the dog, take a walk with your family, start a new fitness program.  If you are inside, stretching or a short workout circuit can help.  There are 100's available online for free right now.  

QUIET TIME

You know when you make your kids have quiet time, well this is also amazing for us adults.  Sitting in a quiet space, 5-10 minutes, taking deep breaths can help to reset thoughts.  There are so many apps for mindfulness.  I use and love Insight Timer.  It has hundreds of guided meditations, or just calming music to help settle an over active brain.

DIGITAL DETOX

Get off of your device or your computer.  Get off of social media.  I put new restrictions on myself this week.  I am off all devices by 8 pm every night.  I do not look at any news until I am an hour into my day.  I stay up to date on local news no more than twice a day and national is once from a REPUTABLE source.  I skip all the doom and gloom.  I am not looking at charts of how bad things will be.  We have been told what we need to do.  Stay home. Social distance.  The charts will not change that rule.  So your power comes from protecting you and your family.  Through social distancing (yes that is the MOST powerful thing we can do) and protecting your mental health by not allowing it to lead your day.  A lot of us have extra time to be on devices.  It is easy to get sucked into so much information.  And that can feed a negative loop in your mind.  Your power comes from not allowing that into your head space.  I feel so much better now that I have done the same.

ADDRESS FINANCES

If you are unemployed or feel that things will be tight the next few months, call all lenders and creditors.  They are providing forbearance(student loans), (creditors, mortgage)payment extensions or forgiveness from 30-90 days.  Most companies are willing to work with you.  But you must call them NOW.  Your power lies in taking control of what you can control.  This is something you can do now.  Keep a record of conversations, what was agreed on, and when payments will resume.  

In a world where nothing seems to make sense, hold onto those that you love.  Find the joy in the little things everyday.  Meal times together, long walks, silly stories.  How many times have we said "If only I had some free time to....."  Many of us now have that.  When you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed, lean into those that you love and the moments you have with them.  Stay home to protect others.  Stay home to support the front line workers.  And give yourself grace. Give your family grace.  Enough for today.  Then we start again tomorrow.  

Just Be Normal

JUST BE NORMAL

Wow.  Ok…it seems the world has gone a bit mad.  And with all of the stress, and social distancing (moms I SEE you stuck at home with those babies.  Everyday feels like a bad groundhog day joke.  BLESS YOU) I thought you guys could use a laugh.  It’s pretty well known that I am socially awkward.  The fact that I make a dang living speaking in front of people is not lost on me.  But it seems to do nothing to cure my…awkwardness.  So I have story for you that happened to me this week.  

This week I had to go to Walmart vision center. I needed new contacts and evidently if you “elect” to use your insurance to cover them then you have to come in to sign for them. I did NOT want to go.  Social Distancing and all.  So here is what happened during my outing.

Me “You have to go out. Just be normal. Do not do anything to be awkward or call attention to yourself. “

Also Me: I haven’t been in the optical center 60 seconds when I swear all of the pollen from Baldwin County viscously attacks my throat. I do NOT have allergies mind you. Typically I could lick a tree mid season and nothing. Not even a tickle. BUT OH NO. Not today Karen. Today my throat seizes on me. So I go to simply clear it. Which sets of a coughing fit. That. I. Can. Not. Stop. You know the kind....you hold your breath thinking it will stop it only to make it worse cause then your coughing AND struggling to breathe. At which point I grab some gum thinking it will help. The coughing gets so bad I’m now coughing AND CHOKING on my damn gum. Me. Today. The poor lady that was helping me simply looked at me and gave me “the eye” after the first cough. The second go around that certainly bordered on looking like I needed medical intervention she VISIBLY RECOILED as if I had tased her. Near bout flew half way across the room on her rolling chair. From her 10 foot distance she says to me “ma’am. Do you need assistance? Are you ok” (insert judgey eyes here). I do a quick scan of the room and all four people have STOPPED DOING WHAT THEY ARE DOING and are staring. Standing. Not moving. And  staring. I manage to croak out “no. I’m fine. Just a tickle.” She stares then SLOWLY rolls back to her keyboard and finishes typing in my info....with hands barely touching her keyboard and her butt sticking a good four feet AWAY from the computer....and me. Because that extra distance will surely keep her rear end from catching anything I seem to have. At this point I’m trying not to laugh AND cough for fear of people dropping out of the ceiling in hazmat suits. We finish up, me still slightly coughing into my elbow (which I did away from her the entire time while I maintained a 6 ft distance) and I leave. She all but RUNS from her station to the back carrying a bottle of sanitizer. The MINUTE I hit the front door it stops. Nothing. No coughing. No tickle. Because OF COURSE IT DOES. 

A few things. One....I’m sure I was reported as a “possible case” and poor lady probably called ALL the people and reported a possible exposure. Bless. Two....y’all that have seasonal allergies. Bless you. And do NOT leave your house. Ain’t nobody believin it’s “just a tickle” anymore. Three....I feel so bad for her. Things are so dang scary right now and I’m sure I scared her to death. Bless. Just all of the blessings today for all of the things.

Side note....as I’m leaving the ELDERLY lady that was helping folks check out yells “all that pollen out there gettin to me too. I just shove some Vick’s up my nose every mornin. Works like a charm!” Then she proceeds to open palm wipe straight up her nose.  I. Can. Not. Make. These. Things. Up. 

So as we navigate our new normal, hang in there guys.  Finding things to laugh at every day brings me joy.  Watering my plants, eating dinner with my family, morning and evening walks brings me joy.  Laughing at myself and trying to make light of what seems to be an overwhelming situation brings me joy.  Find the things that bring you joy.  Focus on those.  Extend grace…to yourself, to your family, to others.  Mamas with littles, you get an extra prayer from me.  I seem to be in the “lucky” space which is I have two teens in the house that were already practicing social distancing from the parentals. Bless.  Much love to you and your families as we navigate this time.  We can do this.  We are doing this.  Some of us just a little more awkwardly than others.   

 

 

Breaking point......

 

 

     Everyone has one. You know that point where you justify that it will be easier to get forgiveness than permission. Even after you have been told a billion times not to do something. Something in your head clicks, you say screw it.....and decide that doing whatever IT is will be worth any amount of trouble you get into AFTER you do it. We all have been there. Even sweet Alex. This weekend. I laugh even as I sit here and think about what must have been running through that little head of his when he decided what the hell...I’m doing it. Because I didn't actually SEE the offense. But oh can I imagine. There was a certain build up that happened all day that led to "his moment".  You see the girls next door had a birthday party this weekend. And like the parties for the last few years around here, they become shared parties. There’s only a good 40 ft or so of space between our houses. Just wide and perfect enough to fit water slides and bounce houses. And our kids and their kids just have become one big bunch of all our kids on the weekends. We love it. We love the parties. It’s one of the things we are so going to miss when we move. Saturday was a party day for the girls. And they were having a water slide.  Except Saturday was also one of those days. End of the season ball tournaments back to back for both boys, raining like all crap the night before, boxes stacked to the ceiling at home since we are in the middle of packing to move, and one car since John flew in for the weekend. Alex had been fighting a cold for a week. Not bad but of course on Saturday he wakes up with yellow snot and a nice cough. Perfect. So the decision was made to run Landon and John to their tournament, drop them off, run me and Alex to the dr, then back to finish tournaments and go play at the party. We were hoping we would leave the doctor office with antibiotic script in hand and orders that it will be ok for Alex to play ball and of course slide to his heart’s content. Let me preface all of this with the most the temp ever reached on Saturday was maybe 77 degrees. And overcast. And a bit breezy. And it had been raining. Mother Nature seems to have lost her mind this year and somehow in the middle of May I find myself running around in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Global warming in reverse? Who the heck knows. All I know is that I have a little boy who is 6 years old and all of 47 pounds soaking wet on a good day. And will shiver violently like a naked polar bear in the middle of the North Pole when its 98 degrees out and a breeze catches him the right way. No body fat. None. Zero. I already foresee a water slide issue. We go to leave and there it is. Mocking him already. This is 9:30 a.m.  It’s huge. It’s blown up. It’s sitting there. Two big fish on the end. Waiting for hours of sliding fun. "Mom I really want to go on the water slide."  "I know buddy. We will see what the dr says." "No mom I AM GOING on the slide."  "Ok Alex we will discuss it later."  Get to the docs office.  I list all of Alex’s symptoms. Cough and snotty nose x 7 days. I then try to look pitiful (as if the no makeup and crappy clothes weren't enough). I explain that "We're moving in 2 weeks. I just can’t have him sick during the move. And it’s the last week of school. And I’m packing. And his dad is out of town during the week. And I REALLY WANT TO TREAT HIM AGGRESSIVELY. Please. And thank you."  Doc looks at me. "Wow. That's a lot. Yea he’s got the same cold that everyone else has." And begins the list of honey, humidifier...blah blah blah. I did not hear antibiotic. I’m shot down. "Nope. Won’t work at this point. If he’s worse in 7 days bring him back. Although he will get worse before he gets better." I stare at him. Like he has two heads. Did he not just hear my IM MOVING story?  Fine. Can he play ball? "I would let him rest today."  Wohoooooo I think. No chasing the ball tournaments in one car. Can he slide on a water slide today? "I wouldn't advise it. It may make him worse."  Oh. Crap.  I hear a very loud sigh beside me. All I can think is "I’m screwed. This is gonna be baaaaad."  Immediately two steps out of office I hear "Mom I want to go on the slide."  "I know buddy but we can’t risk you getting sicker. And you heard the doctor. He said you can’t go.”  ‘I don’t care mom. I’m not sick. I want to go.”  This continues all the way home. And then we pull in. And it takes on a whole new level. He sees the slide. His best friends in the whole world are on it already….one hour before the party. Which is cool because this is the free hour before ALL the other kids come. “Moooooommmmmmmm! I want to go on the slide.”  “I know buddy. I’ve already explained this. You can’t go.”  I drag him inside. He stops at the playroom. Drops to the floor. And then commences for 6 minutes straight to-face down in the carpet while kicking legs- repeat I WANT TO GO ON THE SLIDE. If I were more tech savvy I would insert a video below. Because I took one. You know….to embarrass him with when he’s 16. I’m not. But I’m sure you can imagine. Did I mention John was  at a game with Landon during all of this? I let the fit happen and then pick him up and offer anything. Lunch out, a movie, a new toy…..because it really was breaking my heart. Nope. Nothing works. Pitching a fit continues. So insert MY breaking point.  I decide that’s it. I gather him up and off to Publix we go. For food. He spies the slide. On the way out. Wailing begins. Must remember to pick up booze at Publix. We shop and get back. He had calmed down. But now all the kids are arriving for the party. So we go over to chat some. Well, I do. Alex stands in the middle of the yard-our yard-and pouts. And looks sad. Like he’s lost his best friend. And stares at everyone sliding. It’s awful.  Like some sort of torture. And I’m occasionally getting the evil eye because I am the “torture leader”.  I call him over. He has the shivers just from standing there in jeans and a shirt! I talk to him about this. “No I don’t mom! It’s hot out!” Yea. Boiling. Not really.  Thank goodness about that time John comes home. Then the decision has to be made….do we let Landon slide since Alex isn’t? Because Alex decided it’s not fair for Landon to go if Alex doesn’t. Then LANDON starts crying. I want to cry. So John decides he’s taking Alex bowling and to play video games and I will watch Landon slide. All parties seem in agreement and happy. A few hours pass. They come back. Kids come and go, pizza and cake are eaten. Some kids are even on the trampoline and running around by now so Alex has friends to hang with. Landon is out back playing in the mud. But it’s still there. And kids are still on it. And it’s still taunting him. After a long day I am exhausted and give John the boys. I go in around 6, shower and crawl in to bed to watch TV and rest. Around 6:30 John walks in and says this “You’re child with the good sense, just lost it.”  At first I think “We have one with that???” And then I think-and ask ‘Which one is that???”  He responds “Alex”. John had left the “scene” of the slide for a few minutes to do something. When he came back Alex was ON THE SLIDE. In his clothes. Yep. He broke. At some point, in his little head he decided screw it. He decided that the one slide down that slide would be worth all the trouble he would be in. The damn thing had been taunting him for 8 hours. He couldn’t take it anymore. I laugh just thinking about it. I can only imagine how excited he must have been…after a day long of build up and lots of no’s…..he was just going to do it. And do it he did. John couldn’t get mad at him. I couldn’t either. One-that took balls. I’m not even kidding. And Alex just doesn’t ever act like that. Two-its funny. I mean it’s really one of those moments where you know you should be  mad at your kid, but you can’t and you laugh. Yeah. One of those moments. I wish I could have seen him. At what point did he decide to make a run for it? How fast did he scoot his skinny little cold legs up those stairs? Was he laughing all the way down planning another run at it before John could get out there?  Oh how I wish I could have seen it. John talked to him. Wrapped his shivering little butt in a towel and put him in a hot bath. He came down the stairs afterwards. I put him in bed with me and just asked “Why?”  His response….. “I don’t know mom. I just had to.” Yea. I get it. Breaking point. And sometimes you just have to. J

My Date With Alex….

 

Sooooooo……Alex in hearing about mine and Landons adventures insisted on HIS date to happen today! Originally he wanted to go to Waffle House for breakfast. Whew…..dodged that bullet and this morning he chose a Barnes and Noble lunch date “like we use to have mommy”. When I was a stay home mom this is where he and I went all the time. He would get a huge sandwich, massive cookie, and milk. Then eat the turkey out, drink his milk and eat half his cookie-always saving “more for later mommy”. Today was no different.  I LOVE that he loves this place. Did I mention that this is the same child that walked through the store at age 4.5 and said “Mommy I like the way they (the books) smell.” Ahhhhhh……yes he is so my child. There were no real “opening door” lessons or any of that sort. (Although he did try his best to muscle open the store door for me! :) More of just enjoying each others time.

This is his cookie----and a remake of what brother did with his cake. Big eyes and all. ;)

Next we were off to the fountain to make wishes!

Wishing hard……..

Kinda looks like a plant is growing out of him!

After our wishes….he wanted to “go sit on the statues head”. Brother had sat BESIDE the statue….so in all fairness of constant competition between the two, he had to do something better. Sometimes Alex surprises me. And I must admit its pretty darn funny!

Next on our trip….to go see and old buddy of his! Alex gets SO excited when I tell him where we are going…..partly because “brother didn't go so that means we are doing THREE things mom and you guys only did two.”  Competition. Never Stops.

RUNNING to the next stop.

And here he is! Alex’s buddy! His name is Jalopy. He's a labradoodle. Jalopy’s mommy owns a boutique and let me tell you…..flippin BRILLIANT to have that dog in the store. I cant tell you how many times I was staying at home that I could begged into going to see this dog….and walked out with jewelry or clothes! He brings in more moms with kids! Its also funny how much Alex has grown because when he first met Jalopy they were eyeball to eyeball basically. And even as scared as he was then…he still fell in love with him. Heck we all love that dog. And I was in the mood for a little something new. He visits his friend. I walk out with new ring and earrings. Win win for everyone! So far our date is going GREAT! :)

Another of our friend….cause he's so darn cute!

Here's us together….Alex isn't thrilled about pics with mom….this is the best I could get. He picked out his “date” outfit…..with dads help. Always track pants that are too short (skinny waist long leg problems), a zombie shirt of course, and his neon shoes we just bought. Perfect! :)

We said our good byes to Jalopy and Alex decided he had had enough “date time” and needed more “play time”, so it was time to go home. It made me miss my sweet long days with him. He’s growing up too fast. Maybe next time we will discuss car doors, and compliments. For now….I just love my cookie eating, doggie loving, sweet smiling “baby Alex”. Ill keep him this way as long as I can….he is the last one after all. ;)

Date night…..

 

I made a promise to myself when the boys were old enough we would have date nights together once every few months. They pick the restaurant, what they want to wear and when we go. I want to do this to give me special one on one time with them, create lasting memories, as well as teach them how to “date”. :)  They find this amusing and silly. I'm hoping one day their future wives will thank me! ;) Landons was tonight. The first official date night! We looked like this……

He chose his favorite Under Armor shirt, sleeves pushed up, old tattoo wearing off of arm, and dirty old shoes(although there are new ones in the garage that are now “dirty” from an ice cream making experiment gone bad at school today-whole other blog…). I in my usual jeans and boots.

He was SO excited! He picked Carabas as the restaraunt. He calls it the “fancy” place and asked if we could go there. Of course we can! Happens to be my fave! As I was getting ready he looks at me and says “Mom, you look very pretty.” Be still my heart….and score one on the dating tips I was about to give. ALWAYS tell your date she looks nice! Man he's good! And then I think CRAP…if he already KNOWS the rules at 7 without me telling him….I'm in A LOT of trouble come age 13. Double crap. Moving on. I explain to always open the doors for your date. He LOVES this….and i must say opened every car door for me and store door the entire night. He insisted. Even did it for some other young girls. They giggled and said thanks. Yea. I'm in trouble.

We went to the Avenues for a quick picture session at the fountain and to make a few wishes.

This makes me laugh:

Too stinkin cute…

Make a wish…..

Landon saw this doll just sitting in the bushes….hysterical

Off to dinner we go. Too many options on the menu….and I have to say…gotta love a date who still likes to color. :)

We went all out. I let him order anything he wanted. He was the sweetest….telling me at one point he enjoyed our date. Then it was time for cake. Ooooohhhhh was it time for cake…..

It was AMAZING. And perfect. To top it off…we went to Barnes and Noble, grabbed some books. Then headed home.  A perfect end to a perfect date. He was a gentleman. And sweet. And loving. And he's my Landon. I cant wait until the next one. :)

The Stories of Our Crazy Life: Temporary Post Used For Theme Detection (96e68b4e-...

The Stories of Our Crazy Life: Temporary Post Used For Theme Detection (96e68b4e-...: This is a temporary post that was not deleted. Please delete this manually. (37b568df-ccc5-4d62-a5b0-6f0de7920d56 - 3bfe001a-32de-4114-a6b4-...

CONFESSIONS OF A DRUNK TOOTH FAIRY

     I’ve been meaning to write this for a few weeks now. Time slipped by and it wasn’t until today when Alex lost another tooth that I thought of it again. I so hope it is received as intended….. quite harmless and a bit hysterical. J

     A few weeks ago-one Saturday afternoon to be exact-I was getting ready to go out with John. We had a date to go to a friend’s birthday party, it had a been a long week-and I was excited to blow off some steam. We had sitters lined up at a friend’s house. Thirty minutes before we are to leave I hear crying from the back yard(not unsual) followed by Landon coming into the bathroom-tears flowing. “Mom-I was playing with Alex, and I threw the Frisbee and maybe it was too hard and maybe it him in the mouth and maybe it knocked his tooth out. Dad said you should come.”  WTH?!  So I go to the back porch and John is holding Alex. Yep. Front TWO teeth are loose. One worse than the other. You’ve got to be kidding me. This is SO payback for his friend Lucky who came for his first sleep over about a year ago, fell off his bike and knocked both of his front teeth out. Well. Almost out. Lucky had to go to the dentist and have them removed. It was not pretty. They haven’t been back. Shocker. Ugh. Alex doesn’t show any other signs of distress, no roots showing or anything so I make the executive decision the party must go on! And on we go. Arrive at friends house and explain to the babysitter that there is a possibility that the tooth may come out, but I highly doubt it. We leave to enjoy our night. And I REALLY enjoyed mine. For those of you who know me know that I rarely drink. Rarely. So when I do it doesn’t take many. We had a great night. Fun, friends….a cosmo here, three glasses of wine there….and its time to go home. It’s 10p.m. I’m happy. Happy with the world. All is good. There is no stress. My week is much better. Our friends have just added a fantastic addition to their back porch. We should stay. Have drinks. I decide YES! A fantastic idea! The babysitter looks at me before she leaves and says “Oh. By the way. Alex pulled out his tooth.” What?! Alex smiles. Toothless. A few drinks in so I think…..oh how cute! Later I realize it will be close to two years before another tooth actually RETURNS to occupy that spot. Oh well. I keep the tooth. Alex is awake. His brother is asleep with his friends. I think that surely Alex will go to sleep soon, and again-another decision is made-let’s stay! I’ll have another drink! Around 12:00 I realize that it’s late!  And I need to get kids home. The tooth fairy must come! Alex is still awake and talking excitedly about the tooth fairy. Uh oh. I think the tooth fairy may have spent her pennies on cosmos….and she wonders silently if her child will take a check. Get home. Kids in bed. And now wait. Waiting for Alex to GO TO SLEEP so the tooth fairy can come. By now the tooth fairy realizes she’s had maybe 2 too many drinks. Possibly. She lost count. Wander upstairs to check on Alex. Nope. Awake. “Hi Mom. Is she here yet?”  Um yes-I mean no! Go to sleep . Please go to sleep. Ill give you money if you go to sleep. Travel back downstairs and get all of my “tooth fairy dust” aka-glitter. And scrape up some cash. Two $1 bills, and more change than I can stuff in my robe and back upstairs the tooth fairy goes.  She here I am, phone in one hand with the flashlight app ON so I can see where I’m going, pockets noisily jingling full of coins, and four bottles of glitter in the other hand. I’m not sure why all four. At the time it made PERFECT tooth fairy sense. And the whole scene goes a bit like this. Enter room. Flashlight on. Open the glitter bottles immediately. (Mistake) I lean over the bed to see if Alex is awake. (Forgetting I'm holding glitter) Shine flashlight IN his face. Brilliant. He stirs around. Damnit. Tooth fairy cusses. Tries to turn off the phone and DROPS it onto the bed. (Keep in mind I have OPEN glitter in my other hand-this is not that evident to me until the NEXT DAY) Grab phone. Turn off light. And freeze. He stops moving. Turn light back on. Have to retrieve the tooth fairy pillow from beside his head. Get it. Remove tooth from pocket. Try to cram all of the change and two dollars into pocket. Won’t fit. Damnit. Throw rest of change under pillow. Figure he will find it. Then remember I must create the infamous glitter trail! Go to open the shutters. Which are stuck. Because all tooth fairies come in through the window…right?! At this point I have probably woke up the neighbors with all of the noise I’m making. Son of a b@#%$h. Evidently drunk tooth fairies have no humor and cuss a lot. Screw it. Throw some glitter THROUGH the slats on the shutters, sprinkle lightly (HA! Yea-not so much. As evident the next morning) the floor-making a trail from the window to the bed and “Just a wee bit” onto the comforter.  Done. Toothfairy retires to her bed and passes out. Well-Alex wakes me up  hollering “MOM! The tooth fairy came!” At 6:30 a.m. Really?! I bet she’s tired since I don’t think she made it to your room til 1:00 a.m.-which was only a 5 and a half hours ago. And her head hurts. “MOM!” Yes Alex. “I think I have glitter on my face. Do I have glitter on my face?”  Yep-in fact you do. Kinda looks like you rolled around in it. OH CRAP! It all comes back. Vaguely. Damn. It.  Bad mommy. Bad tooth fairy.  Get up. Make breakfast. Landon walks in. Looks at bar. “Mom. Why are there bottles of glitter here on the bar?” OH. DEAR. LORD. Think damnit think. “Um……that’s for mommies work. Let me have them.” “What work mom?”  “Just work.” “What work?”  Oh for the love! “Just work! A project or something. LOOK-a deer outside.” (ok-not really but GREAT distraction.) I look on the bar. RIGHT BESIDE the glitter is ALEXS TOOTH! The tooth fairy must have thrown all of it on the bar before she passed out-I mean fell asleep. I snatch it. Quickly. Throw it in my pocket. Decide to go upstairs to check out the scene. There is glitter EVERYWHERE. Seriously. It looks like the toothfairy EXPLODED in the room. Puddles of glitter on the floor, the shutters, the comforter, and where Alex was sleeping. What the hell did I do, take the tops off and stand here and twirl like a mad woman for half an hour? Oh dear. And I’ve gotta clean this crap up. Note to Tooth Fairy. DO not drink. Do not drink and visit small sleeping children. With glitter. And a phone. With a flashlight. And always hide the tooth. Somewhere. Not on the bar. Beside the glitter. Not a preferable spot.

     Ahhhh…..lesson learned. Memories. And as I sit here and type this-tooth fairy duty calls again tonight. But I provide all assurances, she has not been drinking tonight. And she will mind her glitter. J

What we want to have, what we can have, and somewhere in the middle.

What we want to have, what we can have, and somewhere in the middle.

There’s a quote that I love. “The hardest thing in life is to be happy with what you have.”  This is so true. In all aspects of our life. I think God created us to be curious individuals. To always want more. To want to achieve. Because otherwise we would be a bunch of unmotivated lumps.  And how much fun is that?  I’ve always been a motivated person. And-in true self-disclosure, found it hard at times to be happy with what I have.  This has served me well on some things, and not so well on others. Because it does lend itself at times to an all or nothing attitude. As in I’m going to work my ass off….or do nothing. Not as in “I’m going to do nothing and sit on the couch” kind of thing-but a “I’m going to totally refocus and do something else-at 120percent.” Not healthy. Also may play into my "I have to be the best and in control" issues-but thats a WHOOOLE other story. Ha. Well-as we ALLLLLL know-I’ve always been OBSESSED with fitness. Fitness models, the look, the idea of being that regimented, being able to make your body do things that others can not or will not do, the mind over matter……all of it.” I played with it in college. I fell in LOVE with it in high school though. But I never really actualized this obsession, or turned it into any real reality for me. I came close. But never there. In college and before kids my heart got in the way. Its all wonky. It likes to get too high…even when I’m in fantatstic shape…it likes to really mess with me. Boo. Then kids. Then total and 100 percent complete meltdown of my body of epic proportions. Ok-a bit dramatic. But things have been royally screwed up for years. I am just now getting closer to an understanding of why. And how to fix it.  It has literally taken 6 years. Many of those years “wasted” focusing on other things and hoping wishing I would get better. However-I never completely followed through on my end. Remember the all or nothing comment above. I would feel better for a brief span, workout, and start my “clean eating”(which I’m now realizing for me was not doing me any good at all-my clean isn’t someone else’s clean) and then have a bad run of things and well-quit. Just get pissed and quit. This has been the cycle for years. Did I mention that I’ve never been a runner?  I’m envious of those that can and do. But I’ve always sucked at the long haul. But I love sprints. Funny how things like that can transfer to real life huh.  All this time however I’ve read, studied and learned about fitness and food. How it effects us. How the fitness industry is the way that it is…..on and on. And it wasn’t until THIS YEAR that I started making connections on some things. I’ve had everything ass backwards. And in doing so have created a perfect storm of crap in my own head. The look that I love, the things that I thought I wanted…are not where I need to be. My body has been SCREAMING at me to take care of it, to not give up on it. I have fought it. Every. Step. Of. The. Way.  High fat, low fat, low carb, high carb, low cal, meat, no meat…..on and off the wagon. But never about TRUE balance. True nutrition that needs to go in. The true reality is-my body would have never let me do what I THOUGHT I wanted. I would have shut down. I had a doctor look at me yesterday and quite bluntly explain that if we do not fix my underlying probs(hello anemia) that I will not be doing anything. Hello pushing up daisies. Now that is one thing I DON’T want. So. In the spirit of being happy with what I have-I am so thankful that after all this time I think I have some answers. And a bigger plan. For HEALTH. Not a plan for how much weight can I lose, and can I get rock solid quads in the next 3 months. Considering the last few months my actual gym time prob averages to a few times a week at best….I’m guessing the rock hard anything is out the window for awhile. But again, so thankful for the time that I can get in there. My plan just has to change.  We can not spend our lives wanting something we can not have. We must take solace in being very very good at and happy with the things we do have. I have a beautiful family. I have days I can not function. So the days I can….I am SOOOOOO grateful for. I try to make the most of that time. And give the boys extra hugs and play time. Husband included. So it no longer becomes what I can or can not have. It becomes about health. And how healthy can I be. For the long haul. For the gold. For the do not give up. That has become my “new” what I want to have. Not the “look” that I have been obsessed with for years.  Have you ever had something that you keep in your life, daily……that pulls you down. You want it, you are obsessed with it….but it will quite probably always be out of your reach?  Its toxic. It makes you sad. It will eat away at the moments that are beautiful without it. Letting go of that is freeing. This happened to me. This week. So thus the reason for this blog. I LOVE every ounce of my beautiful girls that live the lifestyle that I have watched from the sidelines for so many years. But I also love me more. And recognizing what they have been able to accomplish, and then seeing it as a complete and utter fail on my part is only killing me. Self imposed.   And my time that I’ve been given here. Recognizing what I thought I wanted, it was disguised by what I THOUGHT it represented. Health and and to me an ideal. To me what I need, what we all need, is TRUE health. And once I’m there….maybe just maybe I’ll let me re-visit some old desires. A meet in the middle if you will.  But not until my personal house is in order.  I’m 38. Its time. Besides-40 is the new 20…right? J

They should have come with a manual. Or a teacher. Or meds. Or something.

They should have come with a manul. Or a teacher. Or meds.  I thought that this week when I was dealing with "Landon" issues. I am SO ill equipped for this job called parenting. Its been a little over a year now(one year and two months-but who's counting really) since I became a SAHM. (Stay at home mom. Cute little letters....kinda almost make a four letter word....or they are four letters.....but of course mean the exact OPPOSITE of all the "other" four letter words...right...?!)  Anywho.....recently a few hospice companies contacted me about returning to "work". I say this in quotes because I now know I could do that type of work with my eyes closed, two hands tied behind my back while walking backwards for 12 hours a day-in comparison to my "job" now. Someone should have warned me. Sent up a flare. A smoke signal. Sign language. Something. Its kinda like the things that happen to you when you get pregnant. There are MANY details that are left out. Why is this? OH! Yes...its because all the moms do not want you to know about said details and then you have the option of not participating along with them. Cause some of those "details" will make you run for the hills. Seriously(as in NO ONE told me I would pee funny when I was pregnant. Nope. And wasn't that a SHOCKER.) Moving on. :)  These companies called.......I responded. But not with the usual bulldoggedness. I got excited. Responded. But then LEFT them alone to call me. Instead of the usual mad attention I would give these things I let life happen. So....in the middle of these calls that week and this week...my life continues to happen. Alex finds love. With Madison. At school. And they dance. Or as he says "We REAL danced Mom!"  His whole face lit up. The next day he gets in the car. I asked him if he danced with Madison. "Nope. I pooted. And she didn't like my stinkness. So she didn't dance with me."  I almost peed my pants laughing. No, I explained....girls do not like to be pooted on when dancing. The following day Alex gets in the car. "Mom. I didn't poot. And we danced today."  Sweetest silliest sentence ever. I fall madly in love with my four year old....all over again. This I can do. This is what I would miss if I was running around crazy working. This I do not need a guide for.  Landon, during this same time is having a bit of ...um....."transition" difficulty in first grade. Yea....how come when we were in school it was not called "transition difficuly"?  It was called  "being bad. And if you're bad again I'm going to have the principal spank you, and then I will spank you when you get home."  Transition solved. Or rather I never remember having any issues.  Seems Landon is "active" and "social" and "does his own thing", "an independent thinker".  Which translates to "gets in trouble for talking too much and not paying attention...while trying to make the other kids in class laugh."  Will do ANYTHING to make others laugh. Case in point. Older kids on the school bus teach Landon a few not so nice inappropriate hand gestures and words. (See earlier blog about learning awful things on the bus. I just KNEW it would happen. Deep breaths)  Landon goes to class.  Sings a funny song, and SHOOTS A BIRD to the class, in FRONT of the class. I get a note....hand written by Landon that says he will not use "THE" finger in class anymore. Accompanied with a picture of the finger-circled. He IS an artist after all. Someone. Shoot. Me. Now-in his defense he has no idea wha this means. But my first thought is Oh DEAR LORD the teacher thinks we are a bunch of hill billy idiots that run around cussing giving each other the finger all day.  Perfect. Landon and I "discuss" his situation. Alot. For an hour. I know...probably over kill. But I ALSO thought to myself "He wants so badly to please everyone, and make people laugh that he has no impulse control. Which means he will do ANYTHING. Which means he will learn really bad words and use them. And then some kid is going to give him a funny looking blue pill and tell him to take it, and he will because he will want to make everyone happy. Then he will be TOO happy and want more...and then he takes too many and really doesnt pay attention in class and then he will have to go to REAHAAAAABBBBB." All because of the devils on the bus. I hate the bus. He should be a car rider. Its all MY FAULT.  See-Need a manual, or a teacher, orI need a blue pill, or SOMETHING when I had them.  Because I have no clue. And while that may be a bit over dramatic, I do worry. And this was our first, and certainly not least foray into Landon wanting to please others. And he has to be perfect at everything. If he doesnt know something he gets SO upset. And mad. (NO idea where he got that. ;)  So, how could I go back to work in the middle of all of this?  I'm missing a manual on raising them, and certainly cant just "wing it" for a few minutes every day when we get home. Right? :)  Who knows. I will return. But right now, at this moment, minus manuals and teachers and meds.....this is my job. And how I do love it. My other job...it will come....in its own time....when its suppose to. Just like it always does. I think Ill go write a manual....I have some friends who might need it.....;)

Sucess and Failure..........

Success and Failure……

     Spurred to thought by a friends question about success, and how one defines it, I’ve been thinking about success…and its counterpart…failure. Because how does one truly have one without the other.  How do you define success? How do we define it as a society? It is so liquid. Meaning it ebbs and flows, changing from person to person. Do our goals that we set, and meet, then define our success? Or do the failures that we have on the way build our success?  And if you have no goals…..are you in effect not successful and thusly a failure?  And how many people do we know have “succeeded” but are immensely unhappy?  All of this has lead me to two things. One…I may have a bit too much time on my hands, and two…..I must have a need to examine my own successes and failures or I wouldn’t still be thinking about this a week later.  I’ve set many goals in my life.   Completed many of them. Felt successful.   But strangely once that has been accomplished….I find that I move on, and forget the success and focus on new goals…or new failures in not reaching those goals.  Interesting. This thought process over the last week has spurred me to look at some past successes…mostly because I of late have felt like a failure………or that I have been failing at many things. More on that later.  But I think back to school and college….academic degrees, deans list, president of honor society, etc…..and this dogged determination that paid for school. Was a goal. Honestly never an option in my mind to NOT do well.  Success. I just did.  After graduation  it was to work with abused kids. Did that.  Just was never an option not too. Success. In the middle of it never had a goal to get married……but did….and then failed at it. But amongst that failure I believe was great success. I met one of the smartest people I know…and he is someone I am proud to call a friend.  We had wonderful times together. So while at the end of it I felt like a failure, if you have this opportunity in life to meet and create wonderful lasting relationships, that cannot be a failure. So is it both?  The dissolving of my marriage led me to a career path that I did not enjoy, insurance sales and investments. It was a way to make more money  and I  knew that I had to be lisc to do it, so I did it.  Success.  Hated the job but it gave me the marketing skills to move to hospice. Which I loved. Success.   Among all of this at one point found myself pregnant, coming to the end of my job, and single. At that time all I could think was failure. This was not part of my plan. Got a new job in 5 days. Figured it out. My husband and I now figured it out. And we are a great success!  We work at our successes and failures as a family every day. And we now have the most beautiful two boys in the entire world.  Although the kids were never a “goal”.  Ironically I never wanted children…..so one of my greatest successes in life has been something that was never a “goal”. I didn’t crave to be a mom, had no desire.  Use to laugh and say that my biological clock never got turned on.  So maybe there was another plan for me…for us….that I didn’t know about allowing me to become a success.   In the midst of it I wonder daily, hourly, minute by minute if I am succeeding at being a mom. But I do not think I am failing….only learning. Interesting. John says I bull dog things, or that I’m stubborn when I get something in my head. I tend to agree.  I have to do it. I DO do it. Classic example…we move to Atlanta and I’m a stay home mom for a little while. We knew it would be hard financially at first. He walks in one night, I’m tired and want to order a pizza. We can’t. We do not have the money…for. a. pizza.  I have a job in 5 days. Somehow in my head not having enough for the pizza was a failure. So I fixed it.  Success.  Right?  Or just “bulldoggedness”?   I end up working for a tiny hospice(15 patients) in a sea of 200 competitors in Atlanta. Someone makes the comment that Grady Hospital is "not an account I want. You will never get in. Theyre entrenched with other hospices"  GIVE ME Grady.I wanted in. I am sitting in front of the new CEO within months. Created a new contract. Success. Flat refused to fail.  My health.  Failure.  Can’t seem to fix it.   And I research like it’s my JOB daily, read, work out, eat differently, don’t eat differently,….still nothing. I at this point have more knowledge about macros, micros, nutrition content of every fruit, vegetable and protein, what causes inflammation, what doesn’t, what is organic, what isn’t, what’s a neurologist, GP, rheumatologist, naturopath, chiropractor etc.……but failing. Or am I?  Because I know have a VAST knowledge base that I never would have had.  Which has, on occasion allowed me to help others.  But I find lately it is the OVERWHELMING  feeling of that I am going to FAIL at getting better that causes me to do nothing. A good friend once said, do not let the sheer weight of what is before you and your fear of failure in effect cause you to fail. That is me.  I HATE to feel like I’ve failed. And that fear can be immobilizing.  Religion….is there a success or fail here?  The obvious answer is yes. Success…you get to go upstairs……fail….well from what I understand  it’s all downhill.  What about the not so obvious answer?  This area is so vast to me, so interesting….and something I have not even begun to examine. Do I believe in God.  Absolutely.  Do I believe in a God that is hurtful, rigid, condemning? No. I believe He is loving, and forgiving and beautiful.  And that he wants us to treat others as we want to be treated. And that we ALL, well aside from a few, probably love the same one.  Success?  Failure?  How about needs to be examined.   So upon examination of the ramblings it still begs the question….what is success?  I am coming to understand that it is viscously personal.  And that maybe it’s not goal oriented, but many times our success come from unlikely unexpected places. But WE individually have to feel, breathe, and accept our personal success. As well as embrace our failures….because among those failures that we so strongly feel and internalize probably lies a great lesson…a success in its own right if you will.   So while I’m not sure I have the answer I want, and quite frankly wondering if I have simply been speaking in circles, this rambling has forced me to re-evaluate, and maybe see my “successes” and “failures” a little differently.  What is your definition? J

Just say ommmmmmm.....

Just say ommmmmmmmmm…….

For those of you who do not know I have been having some strange head issues lately. (Please try to refrain from the obvious jokes here.)  Since Feb. I have had a funny little nervy twitchy thing at my right temple…which at times seems to pack bags and move around to twitch in various places on  my face, and, well, head. Very. Annoying.   And can lead to a multitude of self-diagnosis(especially if you ever worked as a clinical social worker, or a marketer for hospice-for 7 years-but I digress).  So I went for a second opinion this week from a neurologist. (First neurologist…aka Google It Boy…didn’t work out so well.  As in MRI shows a strange small mass and he says “hmmmm…not sure.  Lets google it.” And then does so. On his computer. In front of me.  Yea. You’re fired.)  So, Dr. Franco, neurologist or aka  clinical psychologist/meditation instructor, saw me this week.  Within the first ten minutes he had decided that I am: Type A, perfectionist, driven, demanding, controlling, and assertive.  Hmmmmm….can I get a smaller diagnosis for that sir….oh yea….we are here about my head twitches not my personality issues.  All of that being said, he decided that part of my issue is that I am stressed and need to relax.  Funny, I didn’t FEEL stressed until my head and face started twitching 24/7 for 4 MONTHS STRAIGHT.  Insert increased anxiety here.   (Not to mention an x-ray of my neck shows that it is completely straight. Where we are evidently suppose to have a curve. The culprit? Stress and tension. Causing the muscles to pull my neck out of alignment. Which will cost $1000.00 and 12 visits to a chiropractor to fix.  Insert more anxiety. Good grief.)  Sooooo, my neuro/shrink places all of my paperwork on his desk, puts his hands in his lap…and says “Breathe with me.”  And he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in, and then breathes out slowly and LOUDLY. (Did I mention that Alex is laying on the FLOOR of the doctor’s office playing with the door during this. He stops and then looks at the doctor like he has two heads.) I, in the meantime, have been taught to respect my elders(he’s at least 65. And c’mon…has to be brilliant right? He’s a NEUROLOGIST for goodness sakes) and I am trying with everything I have not to laugh, or fall off the exam table. Or both.   So. I breathe. Evidently too quickly. Because Oh Wise One tells me “No. Too fast. Do it again. Slowly. Deeply.”  Oh. Boy.  I comply. He seems pleased and tells me that I need to start doing yoga and meditating daily. I want to know if it will stop the twitch. He doesn’t know. Just thinks it will be helpful for my stress.  Um….stop the twitch…stops the stress. Damn. I should have been a doctor! J  We do discuss a few things, he has a few other theories, which I will not bore you with here. But I leave with orders for an MRI, massage therapy, and meditation. Which leads me to the point of this story. Decide to try my mediation tonight. Haven’t been feeling well, not enough sleep, not enough gym time. All leading to body aches and twitches of some sort. So I decided-“Yoga and Meditation! 8:15 p.m. Sharp. Promptly after children have been put to bed!”  I tell husband as he is getting Landon to bed that I am going to the “Big TV room for yoga/meditation and that I am not to be disturbed.”  The look on his face was hysterical.  He laughs…then says “Good!”  Interesting.  So……I will set the scene for you. It is raining lightly outside. Perfect relaxation noise! Close the door to room and turn channel on TV to 857  Zen.  Perfect slow Asian inspired music begins to play. I dim the lights. Nice. No noise. Decide to go straight to down dog. Ow. Damn. Forgot to warm up. But isn’t yoga kind of a warm up….maybe I should run in place first, then do yoga, then meditate…..ah. Forget it. Move into tree pose. Wobble. Fall. Damn. I guess cussing is not allowed during the relaxation process…should stop.  Drop to the floor for cobra and simple stretches. Breathe. In…..annnnnnnd…..ACHOO!  I sneeze. Three times. Good Grief. Decide to simply stand, legs straight, head down and place hands on floor. Maybe extra blood flow will stop the twitch. Breathe in…..snot. Running down face. Gross.  Not relaxing. Back to floor. Stretch legs. Notice that not only do I need to vacuum but I see two toys under the couch that Alex was missing.  Maybe I will just move straight to the meditation, breathing, relaxing part.  Criss Cross applesauce my legs(sorry-what my kids call Indian style J ) place hands on legs, breathe in, look at TV-and notice title of new music is Kamasutra Moving. Um……isn’t that only on Skinamax After Dark?  Laugh hysterically. Ok. Get serious. Hands on legs. Breathe in.  Breathe out. Twitch. Twitch. Breathe in. Breathe out. Twitch. Breathe in..twitchy twitch twitch. OH FOR THE LOVE!  I must note here that the “more still” I am the more noticeable the “twitching” is. Thus the reason I try to KILL myself at the gym….I can’t feel the twitching when I am doing enough lunges to set my legs on fire and  make me want to throw up. You know…trade one pain for another.   Ok. RELAX.  Breathing……Breathing……Twitch. Oh hell. I quit.   And while I will try to re-visit this meditation thing(I mean….c’mon-he did mention the whole control Type A thing and I WILL conquer and learn to meditate perfectly!) three times a week-I am thinking the order for the massage may be my next path of choice.   If I’m gonna twitch I might as well get rubbed while doing it!  Maybe I’ll even breathe correctly and just say ommmmmmmmmm. J

"I Got This"

"I Got This".  I hear this simple three word statement from Alex hourly.  Hes been saying it for awhile now.  Its usually in reference to whatever he is doing.....and a resulting comment of me wanting to "help" him do whatever it is he is doing.  As in getting dressed...underwear on backwards. Me: "Alex its on backwards. Let me fix it."  Alex: "No. I got this".  Putting on shoes, I got this. Riding Landons scooter and falling numerous times, I got this. Turning on water in bathroom sink that is 2 feet too high for him, I got this. Putting bike helmet on.....after two months of "I got this" he just recently "got it" this week.  But thats just it.  He never gives up, and he does eventually get it.  His tenacity amazes me.  I didn't realize how much so until the rare moment I was watching(ok half listening) to the Today Show this morning and Katey Couric was discussing interviews she had done recently with people and what drives those individuals.  I hear her say that Matthew McConaughey's dad always told Matthew to never say "I cant".  But yet to say "I'm having trouble with this right now."  Which leaves room for it to be fixed, or changed, or conquered, or just DONE. Alex also says this....daily.  "Mom, I'm having a little trouble here."  This is usually said after 100 attempts of "I got this" and he realizes he needs assistance.  But very rarely do I hear I cant.  Yesterday for example he was playing on the pbs kids site.  He couldn't get it to work.  I watched him struggle for 10 minutes, and then finally said "Mom...I'm having  a little trouble over here."   Its the funnies thing I have ever heard coming from a 4yo...and the best thing.  So I thought I would take some of his attitude and apply it to my life.  We all have ups and downs, peaks and valleys.  I'm still struggling with this crazy head issue, but have found myself pushing forward and going to the gym regularly anyway.  When I don't want to.  And just doing it.  Hernia still there(yep...note to self not to do heavy squats when you have a hernia...you will result in looking like an alien is leaving your tummy when done. Not. Attractive.)  Just noticing beautiful happy days.  Not lamenting about what is past, what I don't have or what I CANT do but what I CAN.  In every aspect of my life. Kids, marriage, working from home or in the home. Taking a piece of Alex's wisdom is perfect. I notice he doesn't really feel stressed, or get upset-much. (I will provide a disclaimer here that his brother does not take this same attitude and is quick to get frustrated and say I cant.  Getting him to Alex's point is a whole other ball game! :)  He just does his thing.  And learns.  And usually gets whatever he is doing. Eventually.  Amazing what our little ones can teach us.  They are so wise without trying to be. So open. And knowing.  It would behove many of us to quietly listen.  And Learn.  So I guess I have a new mantra. And I may periodically have a few "I'm having  a little trouble over here(s)."  But otherwise...bring it.  Cause guess what? "I got this". :)